Hiding

Sorry about the messed up formatting. Blogspot sucks. Now I'm going to wind up on a site dissing shitty typesetting. 

Are you on the DL, hiding in a closet, protecting your identity, discrete, private...and have no photo editing skills (such as familiarizing yourself with the crop tool)? Then this post is for you!

I've been looking for you for the past year, but you are illusive. I think I found you, but am not sure. Only you will really know. I have assembled a portfolio of photos that might look like you.

The reason you are only able to get with blind guys with lower standards than the ones used by the DMV for their driver license exams is because we can't see beyond your bad coverup photos to give your countenance a little slack. So peep these pix, slackers, and seek help for your presentation style.

Not one of these photos uses the sunglasses and hat from 20 feet away combo. Hmph!

Are you suffocating your girlfriend in a clear balloon or blown up condom? What's up with that translucent blur? Why not just take the eyepatch on your forehead and have her wear it?

This gives a new meaning to "blockheads"

Warped records on your friends' faces is not cute.

Hanging out with the Elephant Man will definitely make you look better.
Too bad you had to throw acid in your friends face.

Your girls look like they have pantyhose on their heads like they are about to rob a Chemical Bank in 1976.

Pixels are contemporary, so his photo might actually be from be from this millennium.

This is just scary. What the fuck is going on with that grid on his face, the fat, the tongue, the mess...

Not only will he smell like a nasty ashtray, but how much do you really need to smoke?

So you are all crooked and flashed out; a typical strategy.

The old "he was so ugly, I had to put a bag on his head" look. What happens when the bag comes of during sex and you see that the guy you are fucking is your dad?

The square box on the head turns you into billboard space that can be rented. "Your ad here."

Uh, You have no clothes but manage to carry around a piece of paper to stick to your head when you are taking photographs fo yourself in the woods. Watch out for the raccoons.

Not only did you steal screen grab from a porn video to pretend is yours, but depending who you are chatting with, you can claim you're good at any role: the top with the black splotch on your face, or the bottom with the blue triangle on your mug.

Scattering fireplace ashes on your face look isn't as romantic as sitting in front of a fireplace. Nice try, but it didn't work.

This is just weird. I don't know if I can get with Green Lantern.

You are orange with a black blob on your face. Is this for Halloween?  Not a cute trick. 

The ad was better before the guy got in front of it. 

What's up with the pixelated boa?

He needs a hot oil treatment for his hair. Maybe he ran out of doorags.

Talk about over-gown bushes. 

The crap on the shelves behind you is not good feng shui.


And home girl is not helping your game either.

Just relaxing with an eraser face.

WOW! Is that Flash standing next to you in the folding chair factory?

Oops! I forgot to put on shorts.

A towel could have been easily draped over his head.

Did he place a plastic white bag over his friend's head? And what a dump.

Why so shy, especially in that loud plaid shirt?

OK. That's all folks!