I've just completed a year-long world tour, scouring the lowest depths of mankind's internet hook-up sites, collecting offensively wrong photos that men think will make them sexy and want you to fuck them. They are just fucked!
Hearing that she missed me, I paid a visit to grandmother's house. Through the woods I went, wearing my red clitoral hood, dodging bear traps and police. Woodsy Owl tipped me off about who needed to be exposed for the aesthetically senseless men they are. Take a look.
The first stop at grandmother's house is the living room, where her charming adolescent grandson (who is also cruising online) greets us in front of the hutch filled with books no one was read in 25 years, presenting his latest 8th grade current events collage. Sexy! Shall I sit on the shit-covered pink love seat of on the movie theater-red sofa beneath the exposed bulb of the shaft lamp that looks like it is about to fall over set the horror house ablaze?
At the other side of the living room, a gorgeous gentle lion portraits rests above the welcoming plaid couch. Cousin Mike is modeling his new drawers here since the lighting from the $20 hardware store chandelier is ever-flattering.
Near cousin Mike is the very futuristic Johnnie (March 2011 date stamp), who enthusiastically flashed me a "hail Satan" or whatever hand gesture in front of the family portrait draped with PalmSunday church souvenirs. I can;t recall what he was watching on television, but the Holly Hobby dolls on the TV set and infants toys on the floor may have been moor interesting. Love his chewed navy blue manicure and poodle hairdo.
In the recreation room, Papo could be seen showing off not only his orange thong, but his body that he'd been pumping up in the garage gym. Feeling showy, he posed for two photos. He seemed happy to have an actual human being as an audience since he'd grown tired of flexing for the unresponsive thumb-sucking doll on the wagon wheel chair that was propped up on the nightstand in front of the window and the disinterested naked woman figuring lamps.
After all that photo-taking, I headed to grandma's kitchen to see who'd be snacking in there and maybe taste her delicious pot pie. Ah, #19 is here, but with a 2005 feeling (see the date stamp). Look at that beautiful flower lace curtain framing him. And what is al that crap on the fridge? The plastic covering the drop ceiling light is downright hot! I hope when I come in for a midnight snack, I can tell the difference between the Lysol, ant poison spray, and whipped cream atop the cupboard on the right.
Upstairs, the twins are enjoying some quiet time meditating on the splendid wall paper and matching drapes.
After the long journey, I was ready for a nap, but Sexy_Ass_2001 was already sleeping in the bed comfortably covered in children's Ralph Lauren knock-off sheets, bordered by two different faux wood paneling styles.
I think I will settle in right next to him since he looks so inviting.
At the other side of the living room, a gorgeous gentle lion portraits rests above the welcoming plaid couch. Cousin Mike is modeling his new drawers here since the lighting from the $20 hardware store chandelier is ever-flattering. 
In the recreation room, Papo could be seen showing off not only his orange thong, but his body that he'd been pumping up in the garage gym. Feeling showy, he posed for two photos. He seemed happy to have an actual human being as an audience since he'd grown tired of flexing for the unresponsive thumb-sucking doll on the wagon wheel chair that was propped up on the nightstand in front of the window and the disinterested naked woman figuring lamps.
You're a mess! love it!
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