Clean Your Messy Ass

Where should I start with this mess?! Look at all that shit. Get him a dumpster for the over-decorated fake Xmas tree, the chess set... and that electric cable behind his shit-piled bed means he is hot!

Baby got back, and mismatched classic petite bourgeoisie wooden furniture. Look at all that crap by the staircase. That lampshade under the chair must be really useful. And what is all that shit on the Cuisinart box and table? Put away those clothes on the staircase banister. Call a gay man with taste to decorate your home or you ain't gettin' no dick muthafukkah!

What a fukking mess! My skin crawls from this clutter. I'd say throw a stick of dynamite in that apartment, but I think that was already done! He's got stuffed animals playing instruments piled on top of what is probably years worth of junk.

What is all that shit? Send the dumpster down to his house if there is any room in it after the Xmas clean up in the first shot. And with all of these cats, I have to wonder how they think this is appealing or attractive. I gotta go scrub the grout in my bathroom floor tiles now. Please excuse me.

Hot Bird

Nothing like a big bowl of Apple Jocks to get ya going in the morning.

That is a big hot cock, but I am not sure if I want to meet at his messy place. His Messy Place Only!

Nice foreskin. Nice snowman sheets on your kids bed from three winters ago.

Beauties

I love how the red leather motorcycle jacket matches the Tickle Me Elmo doll. His house cleaner must be off this year.

Speaking of stuffed animals... This is a good use for the dolls that are usually in the background, offsetting any possible possible allure of the subject in the foreground.

Maybe he got bored cruising online and took up needle work. This queen took knitting in such a wrong direction with her cock sock.

This one gets the Butch Realness award. In his other photos, he's brandishing two silver 38 revolvers!

Too much time at the salon. Where did her eyebrows go? I dare this beauty queen to spend a night in the garage of the previous guy.

The gun is a little scary. Does he want it up his ass? Or is he gonna tie you up with the bootlaces on the right? A windowless basement apartment is never a good sign.

More Hotties

That is hot mess. This first guy is actually very sweet: he accepts food stamps for his services.

This next guy is following the recent trend of posing in a young girl's bedroom. Check out those hot kiddie pop star posters on the walls. Zac's got back!

This guy better be making outcalls only. You do not want to meet him in his disaster closet.